On romanticizing mental health and reflecting on toxic relationships.
I am a nervous wreck. My anxieties have skyrocketed and I feel a pit in my stomach. I can never tell whether these are signs of caution or excitement. The situation feels so surreal. I don’t know how to react.
...but it made the seemingly endless cycle that much more unbearable. I get up, I drink a protein shake along with some toast with almond butter, I shower, I go to work, I stay up late doing nothing at all, and I repeat, day after day after day. I haven’t yet learned how to break this. Simply put… I’m bored with the monotony of my life.
As of this week I have been an Arkansas resident for five years and it has been the wildest, most heartbreaking, exhilarating, creativity inducing time of my young life. And it has been perfect. It is here that I have fallen in and out of love with others, with career choices, with nature, with my writing, and with myself.